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For a short article, this can be heavy reading. Unless, like me, you are a behavioral science geek who loves sniffing out interesting research. Recent research by Niall Bolger from Columbia University looked at the differences between implicit and explicit caring and the impact on outcome. Or in non-jargon If you see someone in emotional distress due to a recent failure or challenging situation - How direct should you be in your help?
The research says don't be too direct.
Direct (explicit) help is telling. It is prescriptive. It is standing above or behind the person. It is directive.
"You should..."
" Go and say..."
It is what a boss might say to a subordinate.
Indirect (implicit) help is thinking out loud. It is showing empathy. It is standing alongside the person:
"If I were in your shoes I would feel..."
" I might be thinking..."
"When I was in a similar situation it really made me feel..."
"I made the mistake of ... "
"If I had it to do over again..."
It is what a peer might say to a colleague. Once again, we learn that peers and friends can have more influence than leaders...when leaders act as bosses. There is a time and place for each style of leadership. Are you meeting your staff where they are and walking them forward? Or standing over them telling them where to go next?